My Journey with Medication

The First Time It Happened...

I had a panic attack while driving, and I had no idea what was happening.

Then, it happened twice more that week without any obvious triggers.

My body reacted like a bear was chasing me, but there was no bear… 

I knew I needed help, but where do you start when you don't know what's wrong? 

The Search for Answers

I decided to find a psychiatrist. 

Everywhere I called, they were booked for weeks, and I knew I couldn’t wait that long. 

It was late December, just days before New Year’s Eve, and getting an appointment felt impossible. 

Desperate, I searched online and finally found a New Year’s Eve telehealth appointment. 

The psychiatrist spent maybe five minutes with me before prescribing a benzodiazepine medication.

It was so fast and impersonal; the appointment didn’t feel right.

I had done some reading about benzos, and while I knew they could help me cope during difficult experiences (like frequent panic attacks), I was afraid of getting addicted and felt there had to be a better long-term solution.

I didn’t want to wait for another panic attack to happen; I wanted to work to minimize the chances of it happening altogether.

So, I held onto the pills for emergencies and kept searching.

A Doctor Who Listened

I found another psychiatrist who was available three weeks later.

She spent 30 minutes talking to me & genuinely listening!

It felt good; I could tell she cared, and I felt seen.

She explained what was happening in my body and walked me through different medication options.

She recommended an SSRI, and because I trusted her, I tried it.

Trial and Error: The Hard Part

The first few days on the SSRI were rough. 
I didn’t feel like myself and wasn’t sure if the discomfort would be worth it.

My new psychiatrist had warned me that it could take weeks to see the full effects of the SSRI and that finding the right medication could be a process of trial and error.

I took the medication as prescribed until it was time to meet with my psychiatrist again, when we discussed other options. 

Next, she prescribed me an anxiolytic—and it worked for me!
I felt noticeably calmer, more clear-headed, and better able to function.

It quieted my mind and gave me space to work on myself.
Which is what I needed.

Medication Made Space For Me

Medication wasn’t the only thing that makes it possible for me to do the work and heal.

• Therapy provides support to work through my struggles.

• I focus on sleeping, moving, and eating in ways that make me feel good.

• I journal and reflect, which helps me to remember just how far I’ve come.

• I go dancing whenever I can. (why did I ever stop?!?)

• I started meditating, and honestly, it's my favorite practice.  

And though I don’t use it often, I still carry the Benzos with me—just in case.
It helps me to feel safe.

Finding what worked for me took time and so much energy.
But once I began intentionally caring for myself, everything started to shift.

✨ If something doesn’t feel right, keep looking.
💛 You are worth the effort.

If You’re Struggling…

✅ You’re not alone.
✅ Finding the right treatment takes time.
✅ You deserve to feel better. 

What’s the difference between an anxiety attack and a panic attack?

I'm just a regular person (with anxiety) on the same path….

Musical Meds

This track (is having its moment) and addresses the challenges of dealing with anxiety. 

Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong wrote this song about his struggles with anxiety and panic attacks. 

Billy Eilish’s opinion of Xanax. 

Lady Gaga shares her reliance on antipsychotic medication to manage her mental health. 

📬 Mental Health Mail #1

📨 Hit reply: Have you ever had to advocate for yourself in a mental health journey? What helped you the most? I’d love to make a PDF list to give to the community - anonymous, of course!